Writing

In Totora hub we have been doing writing. There were  three groups to choose from, including writing about going down a slide, having a loose tooth, or finding an animal outside and bringing it in to look after. I wrote mine about bringing in a animal from outside. My goal was to make very complex sentences and begin sentences in different ways. I kept on going back and improving my work so it becomes really really good. My story is about a time that I was living in China. It includes a Rabbit, Me, My family and my families maid. There was also an option to make the whole thing made up, The whole thing real, or a bit real and a bit made up. Mine is mostly real and a bit made up. Here is my story. 

The naughty rabbit...

Not so looooooooong ago, in a hot and stuffy summer day in the east side of China in a small city, in a tiny compound, in a short apartment, in a puny house… Yes, it was pretty little… The HUGE type of little. In there, there was an eight year-old boy lying on a couch. (He was me.) When suddenly his family's maid called Jian came rushing in with a box and my little sister. “I found a bunny!!!” She said. Carefully putting the box down in the middle of the lounge with everyone peering in. There was a blackish-blue bundle of sleek, flat fur crouching in one corner of the box.

“ I was looking after Lucy on the playground when I decided it was time to come in, we found it outside and it hopped into the box Lucy was carrying!” By then I had rolled off the couch and all the way to the box. Having enough energy to get onto my knees and peer into the box, I did that. (Duh)...

Secretly naming it Floyd at the same time),

Floyd stayed in that corner for a while before it got used to the box and started hopping around. Taking us by surprise, it hopped right out of the box! Suddenly we were running around trying to catch it for five intense minutes. It hopped into my room and onto my bed and knocked my drawers over. Quickly it entered the bathroom, straight into the tub. After that the little persistent bunny (Named floyd…) hopped all around the round marble tub, bounced onto the edge and straight through the door with one MASSIVE jump. Floyd hopped all the way down the hall, into the lounge and straight into the box back into its special corner.

“I think it’s caused enough trouble today…” We all agreed. Then we all went outside to let Floyd go. Putting the box down so Floyd could hop away, but for about five minutes it refused to move anywhere. As I was just about to leave, I blurted out “Be free!!!” And THEN it moved. Wow. I would never have thought that it would only move when we told it to. Wow. slapping myself in the head I said “ Why didn’t I try telling it to move!?!?” Floyd hopped out of its corner, over the box’s wall, and across the concrete path into the bush. “See’ya bunny!!!”

I worked really hard on this story by going back and improving a lot. I went to a lot of workshops and learnt how to make long, complex sentences. I also learnt a lot of sentence starters that I could use and used a lot of them. I am proud of my work because it is long and exciting. Because of my great work, I got to show my work to Mr.Gifkins, My school principal. I hope you enjoyed my story!!!