Hello, world! I made this story at school when we had to retell a fairy tale, a legend or a myth. First I was going to do Tarzan but then my friend Joseph gave me a good idea and I changed to the Real Gruffalo Story.
The Real Gruffalo Story
KEy: STory, Interrupting Joseph, Answer to interrupting Joseph's questions (Liam the storyteller), Actions
You might say you already know the gruffalo story-
I know it.
But listen-
NO. :(
Why?
Because you're not carrying on.
Then let me.
So where was I… oh. yes. But you actually don’t. Now I am going to tell you it.
Why?
Because I can and there is no stopping me.
OK
One day-
What was the date?
I dunno
TELL ME IT!!!!
OK it was the forty-fourth of april 5687!!!
OK. One day-
Tell me the date.
I-I just did!
I forgot.
44th of April 5684.
OK
One day the gruffalo was walking through the forest when he stumbled a little bit of paper mache.
HAHA very funny now back to the story.
This is the story.
Let me see
UMmm...OK?
(Turned around book for child to see)
I can’t read.
Then what was the use of turning the book around?
So I could see the picture.
You could've at least said that!!!
Ain't nobody got time for that!!!!
So the gruffalo bent down to look at it. When he did that, he saw another piece. Then another. The gruffalo then found out that there was a trail leading over the bridge and through the bike track.
Why would their be a trail of paper mache?
Let’s see.
NO.
Why?
Because you're not carrying on with-
Just then, he heard a noise. “Who’s that trip-trapping over my bridge?”
Why would he hear that?
Let me carry on and i’ll tell you.
No
Don’t say because I’m not carrying on!!!
You're not-
But then, the bridge suddenly gave way and the gruffalo went SPLASH into the water below.
You never said there was water under the bridge!!! NO FAIR!!!! And you never said that he went on the bridge!!! NO FAIR 2!!!
I did just two seconds ago!! Didn’t you hear? I said But then, the bridge suddenly gave way and the gruffalo went SPLASH into the water below. See?
Fair enough.
Giving the gruffalo a fright, He heard a very grumpy troll voice coming from a rock nearby.
WHO WAS IT WHO WAS IT WHO WAS IT!?!?!?!??!
The gruffalo looked up and to his surprise, he saw the troll of the three billy goats gruff.
Why was he here?
Listen.
N-
“Hey, Fred, what are you doing in my story?” Asked the gruffalo.
Yeah, what was he doing in the gruffalo’s real story?
“Your story? You must have gone crazy!!! This is my story!” Replied Fred (The troll from the three billy goats gruff)
Fred must’ve gone crazy!!! The name of this story is The real gruffalo story!!!
“Haha, Fred. now go back to your story. I bet the three goats have already passed to the other side of the bridge.” The gruffalo said sternly.
“This is my story and now the three goats can’t cross my bridge because you broke it!!!” The troll shouted.
But… but it isn’t!!!
Maybe it is!!!
By now the troll was mad. He leapt off his rock and chased the gruffalo through the water, out of the water and through the woods.
Thats an overreaction!!!
The gruffalo quickly escaped to goldilocks story to get away from the troll through a special
portal .
What happened in The Goldilocks and the three bears world
The gruffalo rushed through the forest-
You know you can’t do that.
Do what?
That.
You mean run through a forest?
Yeah.
He just did.
But he can’t do that.
But he just did.
I MEAN HE CAN’T GO TO ANOTHER WORLD THIS TIME!!!
He just did.
OK
The gruffalo rushed through the forest until he found a track. He followed the track until he found a house, which he stumbled right into. A-
Why did he just go into a stranger's house?
Because he wanted to hide from the troll.
But wouldn’t the owners kick him out?
They weren’t home.
But then the door would be locked.
Good point. He actually lept through a window.
OK
W-
Was it open or closed?
I have no idea what you are talking about but whatever it is I am going to guess it is closed.
But then it would smash!!!!
OH, your talking about the window.
Well, duh.
OK, let’s just re-alter the story again, shall we?
Yes, yes we should.
Fine. It was closed. I mean open.
When the gruffalo was absolutely sure that he had lost the troll, he came out from under the table he was hiding under. When he looked around, he saw a broken chair a bowl of eaten porridge and two others that haven’t been eaten yet.
You mean not fully eaten.
I guess so.
The Gruffalo went upstairs to look out the tall window to make sure that he really lost the troll.
What do you mean the tall window?
The window that has the best point of view for looking out for raging trolls.
So he just says; Let’s go look for raging trolls!!!
Yes, yes he did.
He must be really worried.
Would you be worried if you were being chased by a troll?
Yes but the Gruffalo is bigger than me, so he should be able to face that troll.
Okay this troll is BIG.
When I looked at the pictures of The book of the three billy goats gruff the troll was smaller than the pictures of the Gruffalo in The Gruffalo Book.
Your version of The three billy goats gruff has pictures that are… Wrong or something.
Once the Gruffalo made sure that the troll really wasn’t there, he snuck out the door.
What door?
THE door.
OK
He went back through the portal and back to the real gruffalo story world.
What happened next in the real Gruffalo story world
Luckily, he found himself on the right side of the bridge when he went through the portal, so he kept on following the paper mache trail.
That should be impossible.
What should be impossible?
Coming out of the portal on the other side of the bridge.
Well, let’s say goldilocks woke up in the wrong world for some reason but was on the side of the bridge that the Gruffalo wanted to go to, so she made a portal but when she did the other portal that the Gruffalo used to get to the goldilocks world disappeared, making the gruffalo use the one that goldilocks used.
How did goldilocks wake up in the wrong world?
Maybe the three bears were sick of her so they carried her out of the world through the portal that the gruffalo made.
But then they would be on the wrong side of the bridge and when goldilocks woke up she would be on the wrong side of the bridge.
They flew to the other side of the bridge so that she couldn’t use the portal.
Bears can’t fly.
OK, I was prepared for this. They gave her to the parrot to carry her to the other side of the bridge.
One parrot couldn’t carry the whole Goldilocks!
There were lots and lots of parrots.
Goldilocks would wake up with all those claws poking her. She would also wake up because she felt herself flying.
They tranquilized her before they gave her to the parrots to fly her to the other side.
Since when did they have a tranquilizer gun?
They bought it the day before.
Were they even invented back then?
It was the 44th of April 5684, remember?
Oh yeah… but why would they buy a tranquilizer gun?
Little bear was shopping and thought it was cool.
They were supposed to be away from home this whole time.
Well, they carried her to the other side of the bridge the day before.
Then why did the Gruffalo see her in the first place?
He was too busy to notice.
Too busy doing what?
Running away from the troll, of course.
But before that, before he broke the bridge…
He was just about to say, but then he made the bridge collapse, so that interrupted his thoughts.
OK.
So he followed the paper mache trail.
DUH!
Pretty soon, he heard a noise. As he followed the paper mache trail, the noise became louder and clearer. Suddenly, he heard a shout.
Why would there be a shout?
Let’s see.
The Gruffalo dived into the bushes and waited. Soon he saw a woodcutter racing towards him in the bushes.
Had he seen him?
No, not yet.
“Don’t worry, little red!!!”
Who’s little red?
Little red riding hood.
Why was she called that?
Because she was little, and her favourite colour was red.
What about the riding hood part?
She always wore a red riding hood.
Whats a riding hood?
A hood used for riding horses.
If she was wearing a riding hood, she would be riding a horse, and there would be tracks.
She was riding a bike.
Why the riding hood then?
They are comfy.
OK
S-
Wait… why would she be riding a bike? This is supposed to be the future!!!
In the future, people had added too much extensions to cars and they all went KA BOOOOOOOM, so the next thing in line was bikes.
What about segways?
Th-
Skateboards?
Th-
Roller blades?
Th-
Scooters?
Segways all went KA BOOOOOOOM like cars and Little Red prefered bikes instead of Skateboards, Roller Blades and Scooters.
Suddenly, The Gruffalo felt a THWACK on one of his purple spikes on his back. Oh NO!!!
This is babyish.
Why?
Oh NO!!!
Fair enough
The woodcutter had stubbed his toe on one of the Gruffalo's purple spikes. The Gruffalo jumped as the woodcutter thrusted through the air and face planted himself in front of The Gruffalo. “Hey!!!” He said.
He shouldn’t be able to speak.
Why?
Because he would be crying in pain.
This woodcutter is tough.
My sister Face planted herself and she-
Do I need to know this?
Do you?
NO.
“Why did you make me Face plant myself?”
“Me? Face plant you? That’s ridiculous!!!!”
Why is it ridiculous?
Well, The Gruffalo didn’t know what happened.
Oh.
“By the way,” Said The Gruffalo, “What are you doing in my story?”
Yeah, what’s he doing in the Gruffalo’s story?
Maybe this isn’t the Gruffalo’s story.
It has to be!!!
Why?
Because if it isn’t, the Title is lying!!!
“Your story?!?!” The woodcutter exclaimed. “You must have gone bonkers!!!” He laughed, standing up. “This is definitely mine.”
No, woodcutter you have gone bonkers!!!
Child stands up and dances around with eyes crossed, tongue out, and fingers making the crazy sign.
Joseph, sit down please.
Joseph jumps high into the air and comes down onto his bum with a room-shaking Thump!!!
Joseph, you know the rule! This is not a trampoline!!!
It might as well be one!!!
“Yours?!?!” The Gruffalo started to Crack up. “That’s a good one!!! HAHA!!! Your story!!!! The thing you come up with!!!! HAHA!!!! Now stumble back to Little Red world, She probably needs your help.”
This sounds like a thing that you would hear on Tintin.
Why?
No reason. I just like saying that.
OKAY…
The woodcutter picked himself up and stumbled in the direction of the paper mache trail.
Why would the woodcutter be following the paper mache trail?
We don’t know yet.
The Gruffalo followed the woodcutter and the paper mache trail. Soon he came once upon a little bungalow.
What happened in the once upon a little bungalow.
The woodcutter burst into the bungalow door making the door swing back and forth vigorously.
What does vigorously mean?
Like… violently.
Oooooooh… violence!!!
That came out wrong.
What does that mean?
I said it wrong.
Did you mean veeooleently?
No, that isn’t even a word.
OH.
The Gruffalo ran into the house (That was where the paper mache trail led an-)
Why would the paper mache trail lead into the bungalow?
Wait and see.
No
Why?
Because I am naturally impatient.
There he saw a wolf dressed like a granny, a little red girl wearing a red riding hood and a woodcutter waving an axe wildly. This is when the Gruffalo realised that he was in the wrong world.
WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?
What is it?
THE TITLE!!! THE TITLE LIES!!!!!!!
Well, duh.
So he replayed the past three or four day in his mind. There he is, innocently shopping for the everyday, so-and-so, When he finds a prank stand. Now, The Gruffalo really, REALLY liked to prank. On that stand was the new world class Super-Slinger-Catapult-Blast!!!
Do you have one of those here?
Noooooooo…
Oh.
So The Gruffalo bought one. He was testing it out in his room and was just opening its packet when he saw an instruction sheet.
“Aaah, I don’t need that!!!” He said whilst hurling it into the bin. That day he made a target. It was the troll out of the three billy goats gruff.
Why did he make it him?
He hated him, maybe?
Why not little red riding hood?
Well, because he didn’t want to.
I want his target to be LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD!!!
OKOK his target was little red but he accidentally hit the troll who was visiting little red instead.
And little red.
And little red.
The Gruffalo immediately remembered that he tried to shoot the troll once but it bounced off a little bird flying past and back into himself.
HAHA
The Gruffalo suddenly remembered him looking on the internet and seeing this rumor about the Super-Slinger-Catapult-Blast in which if you shoot it at someone or something they would turn up in the wrong world. He thought it was rubbish talk.
How?
Uuum… The creators slaves carries the person to the wrong world while they are sleeping? I guess?
But how would they know who the person shot?
The pebble things that come with the packet (That immediately magnet back to you once they feel something) are cameras.
So that’s why it bounce back to the gruffalo that time!!! If they didn’t magnet back, the pebble would have gone any direction!!!!!!
The Gruffalo suddenly got a brilliant brainwave. He attempted to make a portal to his world, and it worked. That when he definitely knew that he was in the wrong world. He actually never remembered a bridge (The one at the start of the story) but didn’t say because if anyone was listening, he didn’t want to look dumb.
But he looks dumb anyway!
What did you say? The Gruffalo? Dumb!?!?!
Yep. Purple spikes, wart on nose, huge overgrown teeth, crooked horns, don’t you think so?
Good point. Kind of.
He blasted through the portal and into his room. He looked around and saw his computer (Still on the rumor page), His Super-Slinger-Catapult-Blast (And it’s opened packet), And (Most importantly) his rubbish bin.
Why was the rubbish bin most important?
Child chuckles
Because it has the instruction sheet in it, didn’t it?
Oh yeah…
The Gruffalo rummaged through the bin for his instruction sheet and almost found it at once. And as he thought, it said WARNING: If you shoot this at anyone they will wake up in the wrong world.
How?
I already told you.
Oh YEAH!!!
Everyone in the library: “SHHH!!!”
So the gruffalo showed the news to everyone and everyone went back to their worlds for good. THE END!!!
This can’t be the end!!! It’s only 17 pages long!!!
I’ve had enough!!! It would have been way shorter if you didn’t interrupt so much!!!
Liam the storyteller slams book shut and storms off
SEQUAL!!! SEQUEL!!! SEQUAL!!! SEQUAL!!!
THE END!!!
I had to use my perseverance muscle to keep on thinking up good points that the interrupting Joseph would think up. I hope you enjoyed my writing and it made you laugh.
